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SILENCE SPEAKS

2009-03-11T20:42:00.004+08:00

I really wonder who made this Statement.

Personally, i think men has misused this term... Silence is for men.Why? hmm,, this is the reaction everyman give lah..
When they cnt think of an answer, the present "Silence Speaks"...when they dnt want to be answerable they do it also. If silence speaks, then man shouldn't be given a mouth loh..

Silence do really speak. When I am really quiet, only those who really knows me....can tell the words from my silence. But when i speak out,,, I hurt people.

Many have said that I am a very outspoken person, It could be a compliment, or otherwise.

CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP

2008-12-17T00:06:00.000+08:00

I think i am not a soul mate to him. Sad, when you can see right thru the person's heart, can tell the next words that's going to come out from his mouth,, can even tell when he lies....Many thinks its great to know him so well,,,,WRONG. Very wrong. Knowing him so well and still cant communicate, that feeling SUCKS..

To night, once again I am crying myself to sleep. My tears are my companion. What has when wrong with me, why am I so undecided. Its hard to be selfish, its hard to think only for myself.

I really wonder how some mothers can just leave, I deeply believe that its not only courage theese mother has, they must have given up hope, and hope has given them courage to do so.

Till tonight, I have no courage to do so. I cnt leave them, I cnt live without them,,So, i guess the only thing is I SHALL CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP. Its part of my routine now.

I have ask myself before, what kinda of happiness do i want. Material / Simple live. I choose simple live... If this is what simple live has to go thru, then something must be not right. How could this be?

Never give command on someone else relationship. As outsiders, many may think he / she is such a superb person..but it is never for outsider to know till you are in relationship with he/ she.

I just wanted things to work out for us, so that my sons can grow in a loving family thou I did not give them a wealthy family. Feels like stranger. We dnt greet each other when he walks in, how sad. I dnt know when and what has went wrong.

How i wish there is a time machine, so that i can fixed things back. Why am I still here with someone who does not love me, who does not need me. To him, I am only his sons Mother.

I have my mask on everyday. There are too much ??? in my head, i cnt focus. I tell myself every seconds that I must try harder for the sake of my sons and for my own happiness. I keep reminding myself that I dnt want to follow my mothers footstep. I MUST NOT.

FAITH

2008-11-30T23:38:00.000+08:00

Thank you Christopher for encouraging me to take the first step which i neve thought i would. I would say your determination is so so strong that a mother of 2 will give you praise for it.

And Kenny, Jojo being there for me all this years. I must have done something good for god to sent your.

Nigel and Ian-for you, i will not stop.

CAN I
Can i break the chain / curse of my live? Many says what you are today, is what you were past life. Don't know about past life, but I just want live this life to the fullest. Trying hard not to be influence by talks that i am in the chain. I want to believe that i can break the chain, i can shine, i can face the storms, i can glow for my sons, i can do a Law Degree, etc.

Despite all this nights of tears, i really hope i can.

STOP BLAMING
Blaming, i want to put an end to blaming my past life. I am responsible for "this life" now.

RESPONSIBILITIES
I have 2 sons looking up to me every moment, my life and them are my responsibilies now. It is faith that have brought us together. It is them, that keeps me going on. Thou, there is no hand book to be a good mother, I am learning from them every seconds. They have thought me lessons that money cant buy. They have thought me that the clue to happinest, is just "SIMPLE IN LIFE", they're smile have given me strenght, they're laughter has brighthen my days. Holding they're little hands has keept my heart warm, having higher EQ dealing with them.

How True Is It

2008-11-30T23:28:00.000+08:00

Those born under a warm Taurus Sun are the most sensual lovers of the Zodiac; they delight in rich foods, cuddling and lovemaking, luxurious fabrics -- anything that creates a delightful, tactile sensation. They also make wonderfully dedicated and romantic partners in love. However, along with all that sensualism tends to come a healthy dose of laziness and self-indulgence. Taurus sees no reason to deny itself anything it wants and this tendency can sometimes deepen into greed. Beneath Taurus's love of luxurious surroundings lies the mistaken belief that self-worth can be measured in terms of possessions, or lack thereof.

Taurus's main lesson in life is to learn that self-worth exists separately from what we have or own; our self-worth is an internal thing, untouchable from the outside, unbreakable by loss or misfortune. Taurus knows how to be generous, but should also learn how to let go of material possessions -- and other people. That possessive tendency can extend to lovers as well; Taurus is one of the most jealous, possessive Signs of the Zodiac. That old saying, "If you love someone, set them free," should be made into a tee-shirt just for Taureans to wear! Being quite stubborn as well (a quality of being a Fixed Sign), Taurus can really hold a grudge. And when Taurus gets angry, others won't want to get in the way; Taurus can be truly aggressive, even combative, when its passion is aroused. Like everyone, Taurus must learn that no one can control anyone's actions but their own. If a lover strays, Taurus must learn not to dwell on the pain and injustice of it all, but to move on gracefully.

Also thanks in part to that Fixed Quality, Taurus tends to fear change -- of any kind, bad or good! Those born under its influence just want to stick with the status quo and can get a real bee in their bonnets when things are different from how they think they "should" be. Some changes are positive; after all, with no change there would be only stagnancy. Change opens the door to new, wonderful things; even painful change, like moving residences or ending a relationship, often leads to great overall improvement. Furthermore, change means growth and as living beings, growth is what we do. If Taurus could simply relax into change and accept it, all would be well. The trick is to trust ourselves to handle the uncertainty of life. For steady, stable Taurus, uncertainty can be the worst thing in the world! It isn't inherently negative, however; Taurus just thinks it is.

Taurus can learn these lessons in part by taking cues from other Signs. Leo, the Sign of the Lion, possesses the courage of heart that Taurus, who possesses strength but also fear, may lack; Taureans should look to their Leo friends for lessons in turning that strength into bravery. Magnetic, charismatic Scorpio can teach stubborn Taurus about being dynamic, about turning on the charm to get what it wants rather than resorting to stubborn insistence as the road to getting things done. And Taurus can look to progressive, forward-thinking Aquarius for lessons in how to let go of personal, material possessions in favor of embracing new ideas. Aquarius can teach Taurus to value change -- even thrive on it!

iNSPIRATION

2008-11-13T10:15:00.000+08:00

COMMITMENT:
The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.

* Is there a handbook to be a excellence MOTHER, WIFE, DAUGHTER, DAUGHTER IN LAW.

Motherhood is never easy, but its definitely easier than being someone’s Wife & Daughter In Law.

FUTURE:
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

*Its easy to have dreams, but its hard to believe in the beauty of my dreams, cause i doubt my dreams will come thru. Does that mean my future is in trouble?

ACHIEVEMENTS:

Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul - the blueprints of your ultimate achievement.

*Waiting....

CONFIDENCE:

When we have done our best, we should wait for the result in peace.

*Agreed, but patient is not my name.

PRIDE:

People forget how fast you did a job, but they remember how well you did it.

*Agreed that people forget, but nowadays, no one will remember how well you did it. Humans now are forgetful.

WILL:

The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will.

* If there is a will, then there is a way.

Christina says: If there is a will, but the will is out of my way!